Fuck You Bill O'Reilly

View of Coit Tower from my living room.

What a disgrace. (more)

Here's my letter to Bill that, in all likelihood, won't make it the airwaves...

Dear Bill,
Fuck you. When you suggested that Al Queda blow up a firefighter's memorial because sensible San Francisco voters like myself chose to bar the military from aggressively recruiting in under- funded high schools, you sent a obscene message to firefighters, the citizens of this great city, and the nation. That message: If you don't accept the military in places of learning, then it is ok for fanatical extremists to destroy your city and its monuments to those first responders to terrorist attacks. And not only that, that you actually advised the President of the United States to announce that this would be a safe haven for attacks, without retribution, was about as low brow as it gets. So in that spirit, I ask that you read on.

Remember when Pope John Paul was against the war.... maybe you would like it if Al Queda blew up the Vatican. It seems only fair since since you two disagreed on that whole "message of Christ" thing.

Ohh and maybe because your such a lying sack of shit, if someone blew up the school where your children go, that would be fair game right? I mean hey, I mean absolutly no harm to your children, Spencer and Madeline, but what's fair is fair and if you are going to dole out such heavy handed punishments for people that disagree with your narrow ideology, I think it is only right that you accept the reciprocation for your lies. Even if that involves people that were innocent victims, like your children or say me, my girlfriend, my neighbors, or tourists in my neighborhood that would be killed inside the tower that you deemed not to be "off limits."

And why shouldn't we all die? We voted in an election set up by a Republican. Frankly, I am surprised I haven't been murdered already. What was I thinking excercising my right as an American? In fact as I write this I have turned off all the lights so that no one flying a plane into my neighborhood sees us from the sky... I'd say evacuate the tower to all the workers in there, but why bother, they truly deserve to be murdered for disagreeing with Donald Rumsfeld and your sorry ass.

Ooohh I know, here's a good tit for tat... maybe if Al Queda members raped you while you were tied up in the cockpit of a plane that was flying straight into the Fox News headquarters that would be justified. And right before they slammed the plane into that satanic amplification system you call a news channel, they made you drink the piss of teenage muslims and forced you to apologize for your career of telling obvious lies, that would be o.k., yeah? Fair and balanced?

Hey look, the punishment should fit the crime, right? And if you are going to go on lying and also advising terrorists to blow up firefighter memorials, than I think you should be raped while on a terrorist mission and forced to drink other people's urine. That's just how I feel.

Or maybe if Al Queda forced you to do an atomic situp into Rush Limbaugh's flatulating asshole while the sounds of your wife, Maureen McPhilmy, being murdered was the only thing you could hear over the thunder of ol' Rushbo, that would be justfied because, well, I tend to disagree with your whole claim of being not only "Fair and Balanced" but also a guy "looking out for" me. We disagree, so senseless murder and torture should be fair retribution, at least if we are playing by your rules.

Should Andrea Mackis, your former employee, be murdered for bringing charges of sexual harassment against you? A big tough guy like you, a guy who loves freedom and the truth and then bam!, the whole world knows you're a fraud. Remember the "great mental strain, anguish and severe emotional distress,” you felt after she filed suit against you for your mastabatory phone calls and falafel references? Wasn't it horrible that the timing of her suit fell right in line with your promotional tour for "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids" (a book where I am guessing you advise kids on how to remain ignorant, tough sounding, and afraid of change)? But I'll tell ya, if someone exposed me like that, and it was... what was it you said about that lawsuit... oh yeah, "baseless" "extortion," I would sure as hell want to vindicate myself at least before I advised Al Queda on which tower she might live in. And you did promise to fight it untill the end, but then, like a coward who is exposed as a fraudulent wimp with an odd sexual fetish, you settled out of court so the world wouldn't have to hear those tapes of your calls to her. You truly are a genuine, no spin, tough guy. Forget Andrea, I think it should be you who is punished for going back on your word to fight the suit. Not only that, you also did something totally unAmerican when you masturbated over the phone while telling Ms Mackris that you would stick a falefel in her vagina. I mean Christ man, your the proprieter of some sort of 'dimension of straight talk' and to do that to that poor girl (well, she ain't poor now, but that's besides the point) while maintaining such a fake moal highground day in and day out it is just unbelievable. I think a fair punishment would be... hmmmm.... letting Andrea slice off your penis until you bled to death and then as part of your punishment the only eulogy at your funeral would be the full recordings of your "conversations" with her.

On that note, I really didn't like your sexed up novel, Those Who Trespass, so I think it would be cool for the President to string up you severed limbs on the four corners of San Francisco, Braveheart style, to warn people of the punishment for writing trash. Fair is fair. We have a difference of opinion, you wrote a book, I didn't like it, so I think it would only be right if the most assinine, vulgar, and morally reprehensible reaction took place.

If I were so inclined, I would also advise the President to narrate the torture procedure from his podium in Union Square.

Let's examine what you said you cowardly closet queen:

... Hey, you know, if you want to ban military recruiting, fine, but I'm not going to give you another nickel of federal money. You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, "Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead."

And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.

First off, California gives more INTO the federal government than most other states, so please spare us the whole 'no more federal money for you' bullshit. And while we're on that topic, I am all for ending the welfare practice of California's tax revenue supporting states like Kansas where your viewership is undoubtedly high. Second, Coit Tower is a moument to firefighters and also a place where people work. Those people would undoubtedly be killed if you master plan for Al Queda went through. And then would you laugh at the disgusting irony of a firefighter tower crumbling to the ground crushing first responder firefighters you sick prick? And all this sensless killing for what? Banning military recruitment at high schools? We didn't vote against military recruiting everywhere, as you twice suggest by omission, just in schools. They can recruit anywhere else in town, but high schools are a place for learning... why is that so terrible? Are you demented? How could you have come up with the conclusion that the entire city was anti-military? Also, California's economy is the fifth largest in the world. We could be our own country, but from what I hear around town, people love being Americans. That's why here, you dont see people advising terrorists on what to blow up.

You know what Bill... I have read that you had an abusive father and all I can say is he didn't hit you hard enough. He should have knocked some sense into you and instead he just made you a coward with a microphone. A coward who hates democracy, hates the truth, and apparantly, hates firefighters. Someone that is so pent up with anger after a lifetime being beaten, that he takes it out on the rest of the world by being a bloviating liar with a pension for advising terrorists. And like most cowards, you're only a real big man when you have your microphone, your bodyguards, and your own sense of "I am tough because love his country more than you!" How you can get there while advising our enemies on how to destroy it is beyond me. Should I be murdered for that opinion by the way?

Bill, I want to know... Is advising Al Queda to destroy monuments to heroes and with that advising them to senslessly murder Americans something you learned in Catholic school or just how you show your patriotism? You know what, don't answer, I hope to never, ever, hear your disgusting voice again. And if we ever do cross paths, maybe I can finish the job that you father never could. And I won't be using a falafel or a plane.
Thanks for looking out for me.
Fuck you, coward.
Brian Geraghty