Mike Seaver - True Believer

It was either that, or

Like Father, Like Son (of God)

Wow.

You know what, that first one wasn't enough... Wow.

Actual quotes from Kirk's new "reality" show's website The Way of the Master:

"FAQ #4: I have a lust problem."

...

"I have a friend named Joey who loves people, and therefore shares the gospel with them."
...

"Love Test:
Question 9
If you saw a blind man walking toward a 1000 foot cliff you would
A) Offer him your favorite Christian CD
B) Invite him to your house for a non-confrontational BBQ the following weekend
C) Suggest a more fulfilling place to walk
D) Warn him about the cliff"
...

"Question 11
If we know someone who is not born again, we should do all we can to
A) spend months building their trust and hope they ask what makes us different (assuming they don't die first... which we can't assume) ...
C) Wear a cross around our neck so they know we're sold out for Jesus. "
...

"Evangelism: ... You probably have a limited amount of time after your conversion to impact your unsaved friends and family with the Gospel. After the initial shock of your conversion, they will put you in a neat little ribbon-tied box, and keep you at arm's length. So it's important that you take advantage of the short time you have while you still have their ears."
...

"Kirk is best known as the lovable teen heartthrob Mike Seaver of the award winning series Growing Pains. He entertained audiences worldwide as the charming troublemaker. He is also known to every Christian as "Buck Williams" from Left Behind: The Movie based on the NY Times runaway bestselling novels..."

...

"Warfare: Praise the Lord and Pass the ammunition." (Bold and Itallics mine, but that's it)
...

"God doesn't want them to perish and I know you don't either... Please don't let your loved ones go to Hell without trying to rescue them."

I have heard similar apocalyptic rants before- trust me- but there's just something crazy about it coming from Mike Seaver. And could the multiple choice be any crazier?

Once on the Master site, I actually did a Choose-your-own-adventure model and chose 'no' and was told about my eternal damnation fairly quickly. So then I went back and went through it choosing 'yes' and I can safely conclude that taking copious amounts of acid- and by acid I mean LSD- is healthier for your mind than the new gospel of Heaven's Heartthrob.

Seriously, take some, and then tell me which world makes more sense.




Update: Just when I thought I had seen it all... No amount of acid or Growing Pains reruns could prepare me for the path Willie Aames ("Buddy Lembeck" from Charles in Charge, Eight is Enough) has carved out for himself.
I'll say it again, Wow.