The funniest thing ever.

So, just what is a conservative nowadays? (watch the Bruce Bartlett interview)

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say anything true...

... it may cost us the election."

And this is funny in a nerdy and completely depressing kind of way.

update: This also needs to be said.

From Eric Alterman:

While George Bush and company were out invading countries that did not threaten us in any way, wasting trillions, killing tens of thousands, destroying functioning infrastructure, torturing innocents, inspiring hatred, and portraying America as a nation of incompetent, lying, torturing, illegal phone-tapping hypocrites to the entire world, what else was happening?

Oh yeah, he was AWOL on taking the steps needed to prevent a nuclear 9/11.

This is not some crazy commie leftist latte-drinking thing, it’s a new study from the Council on Foreign Relations whose new report, Preventing Catastrophic Nuclear Terrorism, notices, “while the 'threat of a nuclear attack by terrorists has never been greater, the U.S. government has yet to make prevention the highest priority.'"

(please read the rest)

Good readin'

Krugman's take on immigration.

More from the Great One

Matt Taibbi strikes again.

WiffleBall

I saw this last night and it needs to be out there. Yet another memo that proves that Bush was hellbent on going to war. This is a war of choice, and what a terrible choice that was. Props to idiot boy Matthews for at least talking about it.

George Mason

Not just for basketball! (via TPM)

Wow, I like country?

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

The Penguin Likes His Lights On

or Why you should never go to bed before 11.

More Power for Our King

When President Bush signed the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act this month, he included an addendum saying that he did not feel obliged to obey requirements that he inform Congress about how the FBI was using the act's expanded police powers.
(more)

When is the goosestepping parade? Probably at night, right?

What Are the Odds?

Interesting...

Anyway, I had LSU beating Duke, but I also had Zaga winning against a much overrated UCLA. What a choke job. Brought back painful memories of URI-Stanford.

Holy Mother of Christ!

What the hell is going on back there? As if this depressing slideshow of old friends isn't bad enough.

Ashamed

Yep.

Press Conferences Galore!

Another great clip from crooks and liars. And what ever happened to not wanting to pass on problems to future generations/presidents?

Timeline

Check out this timeline. It's pretty remarkable when it's all laid out there like that.

And if you missed last night's 6o minutes, you really need to watch this. The clip is called "ReWriting the Science." It's pretty unreal. ("Pelley's Notebook" is good too.) I'll try to find the full segment.

UPDATE: watch the FULL REPORT. PLEASE , PLEASE WATCH IT!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

3 Year's Ago...
...

Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised. This regime has already used weapons of mass destruction against Iraq's neighbors and against Iraq's people.

The regime has a history of reckless aggression in the Middle East. It has a deep hatred of America and our friends. And it has aided, trained and harbored terrorists, including operatives of al Qaeda.

The danger is clear: using chemical, biological or, one day, nuclear weapons, obtained with the help of Iraq, the terrorists could fulfill their stated ambitions and kill thousands or hundreds of thousands of innocent people in our country, or any other.

The United States and other nations did nothing to deserve or invite this threat. But we will do everything to defeat it. Instead of drifting along toward tragedy, we will set a course toward safety. Before the day of horror can come, before it is too late to act, this danger will be removed.

...

Many Iraqis can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them. If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your country and not against you. As our coalition takes away their power, we will deliver the food and medicine you need. We will tear down the apparatus of terror and we will help you to build a new Iraq that is prosperous and free. In a free Iraq, there will be no more wars of aggression against your neighbors, no more poison factories, no more executions of dissidents, no more torture chambers and rape rooms. The tyrant will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near.

...

Should Saddam Hussein choose confrontation, the American people can know that every measure has been taken to avoid war, and every measure will be taken to win it. Americans understand the costs of conflict because we have paid them in the past. War has no certainty, except the certainty of sacrifice.

Today, when you're out getting shitfaced, be sure to toast all of the dead who have so far died for this lying sack of shit. Then toast the cost of this war. Then toast the record amount of billioniares and the record number of those living in poverty this country has. Then toast "sacrifice." Then toast the debt this Congress just OK'd. Then toast your kids and grandkids, who will pay back that debt. Then, have about fifty five more beers to drown the pain of this fascist reality. Then go to sleep. Then wake up, be grateful that the toilet you are puking into has indoor plumbing, and thank St. Patrick that your life, your situation, is lucky enough for you to not be stuck fighting in this war of choice.

Then go see V for Vendetta.

Damn You Tennessee!!!

Almost had an upset! So far I am 4-1... I love March.

Hey, let's use that autistic kid for a photo-op

Yeah, I was disgusted too. But, this made me even more sick.

Maybe evolution is still on the table...

Wow. (tip via Crawdaddy)

We don't do personal attacks

Why a fulltime parody of this lunatic works.

The clock's ticking...

David Sirota says what I was trying to say yesterday, but waaaaaay better.

A snippet:
... yesterday, you saw Democratic Senators run for cover when one of their own - Sen. Russ Feingold (D) - asked the U.S. Senate to stand up and defend the Constitution by censuring the president for breaking the law with his illegal, no-court-order domestic wiretapping scheme. Again, polls show the public believes the president should have to get a court order, and should not be able to simply make up laws on his own. Yet, Senate Democrats - cowering in fear in the comfortable confines of the Senate cloakroom - refused to back up Feingold.

The specific reactions were predictable, but no less nauseating. The Washington Post gave voice to the ominpotent Democratic "strategists" - you remember, those are the professional political hacks who have since run the party straight into the ground:

"Several Democratic strategists said surveillance issues are not Bush's most vulnerable spot, and they fear the party may appear extremist. 'It is more likely that a big censure fight would have the effect of rallying folks to his side,' said one Democratic strategist and former Clinton aide. 'While some in the Democratic base want retribution for what happened to Clinton,' the adviser said, 'I think there is a larger reluctance to try to remove people from office.'"

First of all, no one was "trying to remove people from office" - it was a censure motion. But more importantly, you just have to sit back and say "wow." What a way to back up a courageous move, huh? Send out the unnamed party "strategists" to torpedo any sign of strength. Beautiful.

Then there was Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) who the AP reports "said he had not read [the resolution] and wasn't inclined simply to scold the president." Now that's showing "strength" huh?When you look at all this, you really think you are watching a Saturday Night Live skit about a political party. It's just so ridiculous, so pathetic, so inane that the people who are behaving this way just HAVE to be joking. It just HAS to be a comedy sketch.

But it isn't. Here you have President Bush at 36 percent in the latest Gallup poll. That is "a record low" with "the decline showing mostly among independents, with a substantial decline also found among Republicans," according to the Associated Press. Here you also have Vice President Dick Cheney with an 18 percent favorability rating, according to the latest CBS pol And yet, Democrats, like paranoid deranged totally-out-of-touch lunatics, are hiding in the shadows, afraid to do anything. (my bold)

Yeah, and the clock's ticking. For Christ's sake get a pair or I am voting for the Green party.

Update: Feingold isn't exactly happy with the cowardly lions either...
From Think Progress:
"I’m amazed at Democrats, cowering with this president’s numbers so low. The administration just has to raise the specter of the war and the Democrats run and hide. … Too many Democrats are going to do the same thing they did in 2000 and 2004. In the face of this, they’ll say we’d better just focus on domestic issues. … [Democrats shouldn’t] cower to the argument, that whatever you do, if you question the administration, you’re helping the terrorists."

Who you calling a centaur!

I think Feingold is right, the President broke the law and if it is not even noted by Congress, it is a pretty dangerous precedent. This Congress is absolutly pathetic. More Democrats should be on board with him, but of course, they are leaving him out to dry in an air of "oh yeah, that's what he thinks and that's nice, but I don't want to say that that is my posistion, which you will be able to decipher as soon as the commission I have assembled releases its report...." as they did with Murtha. And, as anyone who has been awake in the last five years should expect, when a Dem is in the spotlight, and his party is not rallying around him, the Republicans will strike with a fierce concoction of spin and bullshit and make the entire Democratic party look like sacless wimps. Sound familiar?

"Hey, look at how lavishly this black guy is living!"

I want to see the uproar in conservative circles that I saw over "It's hard out here for a pimp" winning an oscar. Check out Elizawhore Dole's new quasi-racist, pimp-painting attack website against Harold Ford. (via Kos) This is unreal. For Republicans, however, a true sign of how in trouble they are. Amd I only say "quasi" because they don't come right out and call him a "pimp nigga" but that is clearly the message.

Are you listening Chris Matthews? Call this what you called the Oscars, "crap." Flip out and have on a balance to Smerconish, like oh I don't know, a liberal to go over this disgusting display.

Faux Security

This is really, really funny.

More from our "screw the public" Congress...

Unbelievable. Quick, somebody get Raphael Palmiero sworn back in and in front of cameras!!! We a representing the people! Yeah, that's the ticket, the people....

The House approved a bill Wednesday night that would wipe out state laws on safety labeling of food, overriding tough rules passed by California voters two decades ago that require food producers to warn consumers about cancer-causing ingredients.

The vote was a victory for the food industry, which has lobbied for years for national standards for food labeling and contributed millions of dollars to lawmakers' campaigns. But consumer groups and state regulators warned that the bill would undo more than 200 state laws, including California's landmark Proposition 65, that protect public health.

"The purpose of this legislation is to keep the public from knowing about the harm they may be exposed to in food," said Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Los Angeles, a chief critic of the measure.

Several critics argued that the bill was rushed through the House without complete hearings as a favor to a specific industry -- at the same time that members are talking about the evils of lobbying and proposing stricter ethical rules.

Under the bill, any state that wanted to keep its own tougher standards for food labeling would have to ask for approval from the Food and Drug Administration, which has been criticized by food safety groups as slow to issue consumer warnings.

The measure was approved after a debate in which House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco accused the Republican majority of "shredding the food safety net that we have built in this country."
...
Critics say the laws have added costs for food manufacturers and distributors, who must comply with different rules in different states. The industry's backers claim the different warning labels confuse consumers.

"There is no reason nor is there any excuse to allow regulatory inconsistency to drive up costs and keep some consumers in the dark on matters that may affect their health," said Rep. Phil Gingrey, R-Ga.

But California officials said the new legislation would reverse the gains made through Prop. 65. Many companies, fearing the warning labels, have changed their food to meet the state's tougher standards. Bottled water companies have cut arsenic levels, and bakers have taken potassium bromate, a potential carcinogen, out of many breads, doughnuts and other bakery goods.

"We've had a lot of success in getting them to reformulate," said California Attorney General Bill Lockyer.

Opponents of the bill complained that it was rushed to the House floor without a public hearing, where state regulators and food safety advocates could have testified against it.

"That is the job of Congress, to hold hearings, to introduce facts, to listen to debate," said Rep. Jim Cooper, D-Tenn., who co-sponsored the bill but opposed it on the floor, saying it needed a thorough public debate. "I am wondering right now what the food industry is afraid of. Why are they trying to ram this piece of legislation through the House?"
...
But the House defeated an amendment by Rep. Lois Capps, D-Santa Barbara, that would have let states keep laws that warn consumers about exposure to substances that could cause cancer, birth defects, reproductive health problems or allergic reactions associated with sulfites.

The House also rejected a proposal to allow states to label meat that has been treated with carbon monoxide. The gas is used to keep meat looking a healthy red or pink for longer, but consumer groups say it allows stores to sell potentially dangerous meat that has already spoiled.


Ummmmmmm, that's one slimy, green, infected meatball!

If you think these fucking lunatic whore sellouts need to be taken out of power, then donate here. (Or you could just do nothing and let people like this fuckhead go to represent us.)

More of this please.

Five more reasons to love Vermont. As if we needed any!

Weird day in Fog City

The buzz about barry is here. Holy crap, this is damaging. If this sort of thing comes out about David Ortiz, I thnk I'll drive a nail through my scrotum. There is one positive for Barry though. Now that he's off steroids, his neck will become human sized again, and he'll be able to fit into his presidential medal of freedom. No, but really, I will say its a funny how a lot of the Giants fans are dealing with this. It reminds me of Republican friends and how they dealt with the last year of Dubya. In both cases, as evidence mounts on both sides that their idol is infact a criminal fraud and these people are confronted with those facts, there's always a sigh, a pause as if recognizing reality if only for a nanosecond, and then a "yeah, but..." [insert rationalization for maintaining an undeserving, willfully ignorant worship] .

Matthews gets boner for Boehner

I watched this and struggled with putting a screwdriver through one of my pupils. "You can see this man's greatness." Wow, what a pinko tree hugger lib Matthews is. Media Matters called it gushing, butI don't think that is strong enough. It was pornagraphic sweaty panting in the worst sense. At one point,wear to God, Matthews actually slurps up his own spit to prevent himself from drooling on camera. Anyway, he not only tries to get Boehner to call Hillary a socialist- three times- but he gives him a platform, unopposed, to slam the Democrats and praise the GOP. Then, after they collectively slam Hillary, Matthews has on, guess who, Hillary Clinton's NY Senate race opponent. She was also unnopposed and Matthews called her a "delightful candidate." So this is what Ann Coulter meant when she said "We have the media now."

Update: And now he's channeling Coulter.

Update 2: Surprise! Wiffleball leans right.

Freedom Of Information Requests

Ever wonder what information Big Brotha Dubya has been collecting on YOU? (Thanks to Ononite for the link)

Tom Hayden is still right.

Damn straight.

My Oscars review!

I saw Crash and it was good.

The wrong direction

Anyone wondering why I am so satisfied not being a practicing Catholic? Just keep giving me reasons, Boston! (via Huff Post) More here, and the answer is a resounding "yes."

Din Nha Ninh Nghe Nai... Hey!!!

Wow.

I know that is some really messed up perverted shit what he did, but talk about some comedic justice:

Gary Glitter gets three years in a Viatnamese prison for molesting an 11 and 12 year old.

What's next world? Huh? Kobe is arrested for anal-raping O.J.? Kate Moss Gets Photographed Taking Line's Off Of Martha Stewart's Ass? Tony Blair Developes A Southern Drawl? Bush Understands His Multiplication Tables? What could possibly be weirder than this:

Glitter, 61, was found guilty by a Vietnamese court of carrying out obscene acts on two girls, aged 11 and 12.

He stood motionless as the verdict was read to the packed court but was shocked when he heard the translation.

Glitter kissed, fondled and molested the girls after luring them to his rented seafront villa in the town of Vung Tau with the promise of English lessons, the court heard.

Stood motionless, huh? Sounds like the girls should have given him some language lessons! Oh Shnap!!!

Ooooooooo... Hsssssssssssssssssss....

But seriously, English lessons?

ENGLISH LESSONS? From this guy?

"Yes girls, let's see now, before we get to prepositional phrases, what do you say I kiss you as only a grandfather can? ... Hey!!!"

I (giggle) wonder if (giggle, giggle) he'll (yet more giggling) STAND OUT (bawhawhawhahahahahaha) in a Vietnamese prison...

(By the way, I was shooting for a double entedre with the subject title. You know, the beginning of Rock and Roll Pt 2 and, well, Vietnamese. Who got it? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)

Oh my God. I was just about to post this when I went to Wikipedia to see what they had on Glitter and, as Wikipedia always does, they had more then I was asking for. Check out these titles from Glitter's career and put them in thecontext of a pedophile teaching english:

1972 "Rock and Roll (Parts 1 and 2)"

Like the description of a child's anatomy.

1972 "I Didn't Know I Loved You (Til I Saw You Rock 'N' Roll)"

In the schoolyard with all the other children.

1973 "Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah)"

No comment.

1973 "Hello Hello I'm Back Again"

(sobbing on the witness stand) "And then Mr Glitter would unlock the dungeon where he kept me and all his other 10 year old sex slaves and he's say Hello Hello I'm Back Again..."

1973 "I Love You Love Me Love"

Ahhh, yeah, the fake Asian accent as delivered by a white guy. This guy knows his stuff.

1974 "Remember Me This Way"

I don't think those girls could ever forget you.

1974 "Oh Yes! You're Beautiful"

Picture a pedophile saying this.

1975 "Love Like You and Me"

Picture a pedophile saying this.

1975 "Doing Alright with the Boys"

Oh, you like boys too, do ya?

1975 "Papa Oom Mow Mow"

Priceless.

1976 "You Belong To Me"

Can't imagine how that would sound to an 11 year old Vietnamese girl.

1977 "It Takes All Night Long"

Dear Christ.

1977 "A Little Boogie Woogie in the Back of Mind"

Define "little."

1978 "365 Days"

Actually, you'll be in there for 1095 days.

1979 "Superhero"

Hardly. He was "renting" his villa.

1980 "When I'm On, I'm On"

This is starting to not be funny.

1980 "What Your Mama Don't See"

Scratch that last comment.

1981 "All That Glitters"

How much light do they give Vietnamese prisoners?

1981 "And Then She Kissed Me"

Seriously. It's like that, huh?

1995 "House Of The Rising Sun"

Snicker.

1995 "Hello, Hello I'm Back Again (Again!)

Tortured Screams.

2001 "You" Fan Club Single - Mail Order Only

Come to papa...

2004 "Control" Fan Club Single - Mail Order Only

That's right. "Mail order" and "control" in the same line.

And my personal favorite...

2005 "Field of Dreams"

The White Noise About Blanco

I understand why some conservatives find a little relief in this Blanco story here, but I don't think it is even close to how ridiculous the Bush briefing video is. Like I said at the time, yeah everyone fucked up. But comparing the local fuckups to the federal ones is like comparing scraping your knee with having your testicles shot off. Furthermore, Blanco says "We keep getting reports in some places that maybe water is coming over the levees… We heard a report unconfirmed, I think, we have not breached the levee. I think we have not breached the levee at this time." Yes, that information was wrong, but they are talking about the breach of the levees in a context in which one would imagine if the levees had breached or they hadn't. In that context, how could Bush have repeatedly said that "no one could have anticipated" the levees breaking? The yahoo report states:

She sounds uncertain about the reliability of her information and cautioned that the situation “could change.” She reported that floodwaters were rising in parts of the city "where we have waters that are 8 to 10 feet deep, and we have people swimming in there."

"That's got a considerable amount of water itself," the governor said. "That's about all I know right now on the specifics that you haven't heard."

Blanco spokeswoman Denise Bottcher said Thursday that "our people on the ground were telling us that there could be over-topping and breaching, but it was hard to tell" by the noon briefing.

Really Denise? I heard something different. I heard that the Governor’s staff was so afraid to disrupt the Governor’s vacation, they waited days and gave her the critical information she needed via a DVD of news reports.

... So it was "hard to tell" something.... I wonder what it was hard to tell... Hmmmm I can't put my finger on it... in this context it seems "hard to tell" between something happening with the levees and something not happening but I just can't seem to think right now... Damn you imagination, will you just imagine things already!!! Can't you anticipate anything?!?!??!!

The Smoking Gun

Bush Watching A Prediction of Katrina's Power On a Television 2 Days Before No One Could Have Imagined It.

Here it is. 6 months to the day that hurricane Katrina struck, Bush is caught red-handed in a blatant lie that he was still telling as late as tuesday night. You all have heard many times President Bumblefuck- the head of the party of personal responsibility- say that he had no idea of the chaos and 'no one could have imagined the levees breaking.' Well, we see today that that was another lie from Fat Tony's administration. Hmmmm, I wonder when his poll numbers slip below 34%?

Anyway, though he tells the conference call that the US federal government is "fully prepared," he does not ask a single question during the briefing. Then he goes to bed and learns only days after the hurricane has past what we were all watching on TV. He learned shocking reality by watching a DVD compiled to show him what he should have been very well aware of by a staff that was to afraid to bring the 'ol boss the bad news.


Dear Republicans,
I can now see now that those who believe that government is a problem, should never, ever have this much control of it. Those who hate government are proving how poorly they run something they hate at its core. Your excuses and apathy, your willful ignorance and your faith in this incompetent maniac are helping to destroy this country.

I don't feel safe.

May God have mercy on your souls for delivering this psychopath to our doorstep.
Yours,
BG


Oh, and the same week that we find out that xenophobic scaremonger's technique of trying to blend all Arabs into the same group (remember the 2004-9/11-Iraq-war on terror-Saddam-is-an-evil-doer-campaign?) is actually working adversely with his base, we found out that not only are we giving the port control away, but we're cutting money for the Coast Guard!!! Oh and isn't it great that the Dubai company wouldn't have to keep record in this country? That would make them harder to investigate, sue, regulate and prosecute. Isn't that great!??!?!?

WooHOOO!!! Conservatism works!!! The democrats must be "to the right!!!!" WooHoo, thank God boys can't kiss!!!! Dubya's gonna protect us!!!!

Stop.

Go back and read that Molly Ivins piece.

Anyway the port deal is minor compared to what we need to do, as Kerry frequently said, to improve security of the ports. Checking at most, 5% of the incoming traffic is a joke. We only have a 95% chance of biting the apocalyptic bullet. Yaaaaayyyy!!!!!

But, who gives a shit, like I said, boys can't kiss.

Heckuva Liar and Heckuva Job Discuss How They Can Still Help to Destroy the World Even While Vacationing

If you're going to San Francisco...

At least Manny didn't show up looking like this:

Toilet water. Really?

Holy shit that's nasty. (thanks roger)